Something Foul is Afoot!

Eric came in from outside and said, “I need to show you something, it’s a bit sad, and a bit macabre, but I need you to see it.” Yes, he uses words like macabre.

“Ummmm…ok. Is it a dead body? Is it a dead animal?” I asked.

“Sort of,” he said. “I don’t want to show you, but I have to show you.”

This is what he showed me, and said, “that looks like a stick, right?”

I nodded, and said “yeah.”

He said, “that’s not a stick, it’s a foot.”

And then the speculation started. Did someone throw a deer foot into our yard? No way, that’s a super shitty thing to do. We’re vegetarians, dammit!

Maybe it’s a warning, like the horse head in the bed. Did we piss someone off? Does someone want me to stop running around the block so much?

Maybe someone had it stuck to their truck and it fell into our grass?

The bone was so cleanly cut, though. There is no way an animal broke that bone. So someone caught the deer, dressed it, and then discarded the foot? And it ended up in our yard?

Eric thought I might get excited because there are bear sightings all over my town, and I have yet to see him. And I really really want to see that bear!

But black bears are vegetarian too, so I don’t think they would chew on a deer foot. But maybe the bear picked it up thinking it was not meat, and then spit it out in our yard when it realized it was meat.

So many possibilities, and so very gross. And sad. And macabre.

Has anything like this every happened to you? Is this a thing that happens? Do we have to move now?

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Comments

  1. Reply

    Wow, deer have long feet no? Or else I am looking at the wrong thing.
    Totally missing the point since 1970, that’s me.
    Kari Wagner Hoban recently posted…What No One Tells You About Getting OlderMy Profile

    1. Reply

      Ha! You make a good point! Technically it’s the whole leg. I guess my title should have been more about “pulling my leg” for some reason this post needs a punny title.

  2. Reply

    Ew!! What the?!? Who lost that paper rick scissors battle to get it out of your yard?

    1. Reply

      Ha! We have a very very kind friend, who did it. He told me afterwards, “I threw the foot in the woods.” I’m putting him up for sainthood!

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