I’m not dead, even though the last time I posted was over a month ago. OVER a month ago! Yeesh. You know when you want to call someone, but you haven’t called them in so long that you start analyzing everything you are going to say to them when you finally talk? And then you do that for so long that it makes the time since the last time you called that much longer to the point where you feel like you can’t call? Well, that’s what I was stuck in.
I hadn’t blogged for so long, that all I was doing was thinking about what I wanted to blog about, so much so that I never actually got around to blogging!
But, hey! I’m back now! And there is so much to talk about. So pull up a chair and let’s get down to business! Though, I don’t know why you would be standing while reading this. Unless you are on the subway, then you’re probably standing because there are no available seats. If that’s the case, continue to stand, I don’t want you starting a fight for this post.
First off, I started a new role at my job, yay, which is amazing for a few reasons: one, I am doing something new that I actually enjoy, I was in such a rut at work that every day was feeling a bit torturous. And two, most importantly, the job is remote. Which means I can work from home. Let me say that again, I CAN WORK FROM HOME! Holy moly, y’all. The only career goal I had on the books was working from home. Sure I want to work at a job that feeds my soul, and makes me happy, but until I find that, all I wanted was to work from home. And now, I am.
Side note: I am starting a Work From Home series, because people have told me that working from home is a lot more difficult than I realize and that it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I honestly don’t believe it. So, I’m going to be documenting my journey to see if it is in fact harder than I think it is. Spoiler: so far it’s not, though it’s been super fattening! More on that to come.
I just started reading You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero and I already love it. I am trying to wean myself off of social media first thing in the morning, since it makes me batshit crazy and it is officially a horrible way to start the day. So I put this book in the bathroom so that when I’m waking up, or hiding from the children, I can read it and actually feel like I’m making a difference in my life as opposed to getting sucked into mindless nonsense that enrages me.
My goals for 2018 are vast and many, and they include getting myself out of this crazy funk I have been in for so damn long! I honestly think a lot of it revolves around postpartum issues, with a good healthy side helping of mental health issues. My daughter is about to turn three, and this year is the first since she was born that I am starting to feel more like myself.
I’m helping myself in a few ways: bullet journaling has been a continued source of calm and grounding for me. I’ve also gotten back to daily journaling and documenting my gratitude. I know that focusing on the joy in my life has not always been a priority, but when I do, it really makes a difference.
I saw a Facebook live post by CA Miljavac almost a month ago, and it was an emotional one. If you don’t know Carolanne (CA), check her out, she is one of the funniest people on this earth and her feed brings me endless joy. This particular video is heavy, and I cried a few times watching it, but it also gave me this gift that I honestly did not see coming.
The TL;DW (too long; didn’t watch) version is that CA was in a very dark place after her seven year old niece lost her battle against cancer. CA had a moment in her car when she decided to give her life up to God, and in that moment, she said that God spoke to her. And he said “speak.” After that she threw herself into her Facebook page, doing live videos every day and after a year, her page literally exploded. Her posts constantly go viral, she has almost half a million followers, and she is an honest to goodness inspiration.
I haven’t had spirituality in my life since college. Studying environmental science is a really good way to knock the spirituality right out of you. But I’ve always felt like something was missing. I’ve always wanted more. And this video lead to the first time, in a loooong time, where I actually took a good hard look at my spirituality. I wondered what would happen to me, if I gave myself up to God. What would he tell me?
To someone who openly identifies herself as an atheist, this is big. And potentially scary. So I’m not diving too deep into it at the moment. But it feels like there is now a constant knocking at my door, and I know some time soon I am going to have to answer it.
So, yeah, a lot has happened this month. A LOT. I’m psyched to be back on the blog and I actually have more posts in the works. Can you even?! Seriously though, thanks for sticking with me, even after my unintentional hiatus. If you ever need to check my pulse and see if I’m still kicking around, I post regularly on Instagram. I also post irregularly on Twitter.
Until next time! *which I promise you will be sooner than a month from now!